Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
