I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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