YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
