Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
