New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
