Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize