One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Randomize
