whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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