How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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