So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
