tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
She announced her abortion via fbk
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
