i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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