Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Randomize
