No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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