Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Randomize
