i permit you to call me
we made out on top of his cat.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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