Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
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