Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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