drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
