I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
