i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
it glows. i had to have it.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
