Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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