Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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