how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
