I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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