I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
My life is pants optional.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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