wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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