You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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