"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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