I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Be still, my beating vagina.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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