pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize