At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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