You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
