i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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