She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize