i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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