My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
The adults are the big ones right?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
