we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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