There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
