his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Randomize
