All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize