The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
