I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
