I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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