I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
