You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
