dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
