yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
