I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
