Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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