I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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