thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize