I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
