no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
