I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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