OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Tell her she can't have a vagina
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just want to make out with him forever
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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