I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
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