I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
