Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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