I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Randomize
