I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize