I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
time to smoke my breakfast
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
