living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize