I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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